Love Needs More Than Good Intentions
Marriage is not always easy, even when two people love each other deeply. As time passes, couples face disagreements, misunderstandings, busy schedules, and different expectations that can slowly affect their relationship. In Attending to Your Marriage: A Resource for Christian Couples by Charles J. Joanides, Ph.D., readers can find practical guidance for understanding these challenges and learning how to build a healthier marriage. Instead of waiting for problems to become serious, the book encourages couples to pay attention to their relationship before small issues turn into bigger ones.
What makes this book useful is its combination of relationship guidance, real-life examples, research, and Christian faith. It does not treat marriage as something that will always work out on its own. Instead, it shows that couples need to make an effort, communicate honestly, and understand each other’s needs. Whether you’re preparing for marriage, newly married, or have spent many years together, this resource offers ideas to help you protect the love and trust you have built.
What normally happens is that the loser’s needs are either totally or partially ignored and disrespected. Such an outcome can have several negative consequences for the loser and the marriage. In some cases, the loser will feel dismissed and belittled. The loser may also feel a mixture of resentment and anger.
Learning to Care for Your Marriage
One of the important lessons in Attending to Your Marriage is that small problems should not be ignored. A disagreement about chores, time together, or everyday responsibilities may seem unimportant at first, but repeated misunderstandings can build frustration over time. When couples dismiss each other’s feelings or focus only on proving who is right, they may end up creating more distance instead of finding a solution. The book encourages readers to recognize these patterns and understand how their actions affect their partners.
Communication is another major part of the book. Couples do not always see things the same way, and that is normal. The challenge is learning how to discuss differences without turning every disagreement into a fight. Through examples and practical strategies, Joanides explains how criticism, defensiveness, and ignoring a partner’s concerns can make conflicts harder to resolve. Readers are encouraged to listen, understand the feelings behind their disagreements, and work toward solutions that respect both partners’ needs.
The book also explores how Christian faith can support a couple’s relationship. Prayer, forgiveness, shared responsibility, and a commitment to caring for one another are presented as ways to strengthen a marriage. Its guidance is intended for couples at different stages, from those preparing to marry to those trying to rebuild trust and understanding after years together. The message is clear: a healthy marriage requires consistent attention, honest effort, and a willingness to grow together.
Meet Charles J. Joanides
Charles J. Joanides, Ph.D., LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an ordained Greek Orthodox priest. His work as a therapist, educator, researcher, and priest has given him opportunities to guide and support hundreds of couples. Through these experiences, he has gained insight into the struggles couples face and the approaches that can help them improve communication, resolve conflict, and strengthen their relationships.
Joanides draws on professional experience, research, Christian teachings, and lessons from his own long-term marriage. In Attending to Your Marriage, he presents these ideas in an accessible way, using practical examples rather than relying only on theory. The second edition also gives attention to the role of the church and the value of community in supporting marriages. His goal is to help readers take an active role in their relationships and make room for love, trust, understanding, and faith in their everyday lives.
Give Your Marriage the Attention It Deserves
Whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, Attending to Your Marriage: A Resource for Christian Couples by Charles J. Joanides offers practical ideas for working through challenges and building a stronger connection. If you’re ready to be more intentional about your relationship, this book is a helpful resource to explore together.
Attending to Your Marriage: A Resource for Christian Couples
Practical, Christ-centered guidance for building a healthier and stronger marriage.
| Christian Living | Marriage and Relationships | Self-Help | Family and Faith |